There has been a lot said about allergy to food, but not much is written or spoken about being allergic to toxic people. These people are always disagreeable, negative, get under your skin and on your last nerves. Some people can eat shellfish or peanuts without any incident and then there are those who get an allergic reaction if they do. The same is true with people. Someone could be a good friend to a person and be poison to you. How is that possible, you may ask?
Well, it is ironic that even the people that you live with or socialize with on a daily basis can be some of the most difficult to deal with and can become quite an emotional hazard to you. These are the people that can elevate you or tear you down. They have certain characteristics to look for such as:
- Making you angry to the point of screaming your head off
- Pressure you to a frazzle
- Make you tense, anxious and nervous around them
- Break down your resolve
People who end up in toxic friendships or relationships tend to do so for a number of reasons. It could be a childhood acclimatizing or learned behavior. Certain attitudes are taught during childhood and we bring it into our later years because that is the only thing we know. If we don’t handle the underlying issues of anxiety and anger of the past, then it follows us into adulthood.
Toxic people tend to fall in this group – they repress childhood resentment and frustration; not knowing how to deal with it, then it continues to build up. Eventually, it makes them change into a person filled with rage and hostility – still deeply buried, but shows up occasionally. When it shows up, it does a lot of damage to you; possibly causing you to revert to your own childhood hurts. This creates a vision cycle.
What to do about it?
The question is what are you going to do about this? The answer is a combination of things. First, you have to adjust your life and that may mean getting rid of anyone who brings their toxicity and negativity in your personal space. Because your focus is staying positive, you have to maintain a positive environment around you.
Let’s say you met someone and befriended them; only to find out later that this person is not a good influence. What then? You should immediately take action. It is either that you confront the person about what you have come to expect in a friendship and let them know that you are willing to end the relationship. If no change has been made, then it is time for you to move on. Your ‘allergy threshold’ should be so high that you don’t tolerate toxic individuals. Your mental antenna should always be up – to capture the spirit of a toxic person and make the adjustments rather quickly.
Have you had problems with negative people? Do you let them still hang around or do you cut off the relationship – nip it in the bud before it gets out of control? Let us hear how you handle it and what you do to detect it. Your comments are appreciated.