It is obvious that cruelty can come from strangers, but when it comes to your loved ones hurting remarks can be like a dagger in your heart. In fact, most of the time, it is the people that we love who hurt us the most. These types of hurt can be devastating, painful and disappointing, especially when it is intentional. One thing is sure – in any relationship, whether platonic, family or romantic, you can be hurt because there are so many emotions and personalities involved. But is that an excuse? I think not. Many times, though, we get hurt because we don’t have similar morals or goals. In many families, shouting or yelling is normal and seen as giving friendly advice while in other families; it is not readily accepted or just overlooked.
No matter which family you grew up in, you can change the behavior pattern that you learned. It is ideal to set boundaries for all the people that you come in contact with. To gain respect, you have to give respect. If you are respecting others, they should respect your boundaries, but that won’t happen if you don’t set defined boundaries. When you set boundaries, it gives you a sense of security and it also does the same for others. When we talk about respect, we are talking about your opinions, your lifestyle and the way you do things.
Everyone has an emotionally sensitive area or two. You need to know how to deal with other people by getting to know them. The same is true for others. Declare the extent of your boundaries right away and be sensitive to the other people’s boundaries too. Never showcase someone’s fault because you want to appear better than they are. Listen to others even when you are in disagreement. Avoid arguments as much as possible. This way you can walk away and avoid being hurt by others.
Things to Avoid
To stop people that you know from hurting you, don’t be pretentious. Be real. Don’t expose your weaknesses. Don’t fear rejection. Speak your mind even if it isn’t popular. Don’t blame or judge others. Instead, speak positively. If you are insecure, work on this, but don’t let it become too obvious by being defensive all of the time. You don’t have to justify who you are. When someone succeeds, be happy for them. Don’t show any signs of jealousy.
Always be aware of your behavior and how others are acting toward you. If you see an argument about to take place, it is better to be the bigger person and ask for ‘time out.’ Sit down and discuss it without being critical. If it is something that cannot be resolved, find an unbiased friend who won’t take sides to mediate for you. If nothing more can be done, just walk away from it and hope that time will take care of it.
We all have been hurt at some point in our lives. It is not a pleasant experience. Once you can identify any part that you played in it and act positively toward change, you can stop it from happening again. Your approach has a lot to do with how someone perceives you. In many cases, there is nothing you can do about a spiteful person. So walking away may be your own recourse. Let’s know what you think by leaving your comments below.