If you feel as if you are a victim of your circumstances, you may end up blaming everyone else for your situation. However, an attitude like this will not provide a solution. Rather than vent about this, it is best to evaluate the choices you made to get to this stage. Accept the choices you made and find ways to come to terms with them. You should also be accountable and responsible for your choices. The question should be what you need to do to move on.

Moving ahead

Acknowledge the part that you played in getting to this stage in your life. Shift your mindset from victim to self-assured individual who can move past this. Take positive action. Don’t operate in a victim manner or you will find ways to defend the lack of advancement. Don’t get caught in the common traps, which could include feeling and acting as if you are in control, but in actuality ineffective. It is possible that you may be so accustomed to being in your situation of dysfunction and self-sabotage, that you behave in such a way as to worsen everything for yourself.

You have this unconscious necessity for control. For example, if you feel like something will fail since it seems so ‘good to be true,’ you might bring about its failure in order to maintain a sense of control.

The behavior

A person who exhibits self-sabotaging behavior is someone who feels worthless and has low self-esteem. A person like this may feel as if they do not deserve to be happy or successful. This is the same person who may display bad habits like smoking, overpowering anger or extreme drinking. This is an individual who has a strong need for pleasure or excitement. For example, out of nowhere, this individual may decide to pick a fight for no good reason, but to sabotage the otherwise peaceful afternoon. The desire to demonstrate this kind of behavior says a lot about the person’s frame of mind – not constructive and very unwise.

Not everyone means to display self-sabotaging behavior all the time. It is usually not a cognizant decision and that is generally the real issue. With such behavior, the individual can feel like “what just happened?’ or “why did I just do that?” This person is working from an emotional place of turmoil while seeking to draw attention to a negative standpoint.

How to combat this behavior

Instead of justifying your actions, it is better to assess the situation and seek help, if necessary. It could be fear and not spitefulness that makes you do what you do. It could also be the only way for you to get attention. However, this is negative attention and you don’t want to encourage anything like that. Instead of self-sabotaging behavior, you should look for positive examples of people around you to follow. Explore different ways to handle your situation. Gather healthy experiences that will motivate you to change your behavior. Keep working on yourself – self-growth and development is the key to combating self-sabotaging behaviors.


Your actions reflect who you are and people will treat you accordingly. Let us hear what self-sabotaging behaviors have greatly impacted your life or the life of anyone around you. We would love to hear your comments below.