Depressed woman

It is time for you to stop classifying yourself as a victim. You have so much power on the inside that you cannot remain a victim of your past. You can get over whatever happened to you. I know it may not be easy and some people can do it on their own while others need a little help and that‘s OK. That is why you have therapists and motivational speakers like me.

When we take on the premise that we are victims, we are saying to the world that we are not worthy to progress in life. We are just going to live in the past for as long as we can. We are viewing the world as a bad place to be because of our circumstances. We blame everyone else for what happened to us. Come on now! Isn’t it time to move forward? How are you going to be better if you stay in the same place – with the same destructive thinking?

When you view yourself as a victim, you tend to feel that everyone has control over some areas of your life. You don’t seem to be aware that you can recreate what you think about yourself.

Here are some tips to move you from victim to winner:

  • Accept the truth of what happened
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and we all have a past (some harsher than others).
  • Realize that you cannot change your past, but you can change your present and the future.
  • Take one step each day to use your situation as a positive (for example, you could write a journal and later a published book or become a public speaker)
  • Find someone you can confide in; someone who will motivate you and encourage you.
  • Be sure to stay away from negative people who will make you want to ‘feel sorry for yourself.
  • Each day, begin to let go and think about the lessons learned.
  • Think wisely before making current and future decisions so you don’t make the same mistake. If you have to, seek professional help.
  • Change your beliefs about yourself.
  • Include meditation in your daily routine.
  • Make a concerted effort to break the cycle of the past.

When you accept the truth of your past, you should not continue to create similar situations or you won’t get out of it. Once you follow the tips mentioned above, you will gradually have a sense of peace.


Our life is a journey. No one really knows for sure where life is headed and sometimes life can bring so many different blows along the way; some of which, we have no control at that moment. However, once we get an opportunity to control our destiny, we should gravitate towards empowerment instead of defeat. You can do it! Yes, you can! Always say that to yourself. “I can do it, yes, I can!” Let’s hear how you moved from a victim to a victor. Your shared story will encourage someone. Please leave your comments below.